as they wait in the dark
by Gabby D
Summary: A small scene between Daryl and little Judith as they sit there together, waiting. [8x09 SPOILERS!] Character Study


Daryl keeps his head down as he tries to process; everything happened so quickly, he didn't— he didn't notice anything. He didn't pay attention to the signs. So busy worked up on his own shit, just feel so guilty and angry and _scared._

He remembers the panic when the Saviours came in knocking.

 _It's all my fault, I let them out, I caused this. More of my family will die because of me. Carl, Judith..._

 _Stupid, stupid, hot-headed asshole._

But then there was the relief in Carl's sound planning, and in hearing from Dwight— the prick who should be dead, who he longs to kill— that he wasn't to blame. Dwight wouldn't sugarcoat it, nor lie, if it had been Daryl the one to help set the Saviours free. He knows it.

Daryl remembers Dwight's voice taunting him for Glenn's death, blaming him, keeping him awake.

He wouldn't lie. He doesn't care enough to.

But still Daryl should've seen it coming, he should've noticed something. The sweat, the limp, the look in his eyes.

He hears Judith's sweet babble, upset about all the confusion as she yet doesn't understand what's happening in the big world around her, and looks up to see her palming Carl's clammy face. Worried for her big brother.

"Cal?"

 _Little asskicker still hasn't gotten the 'r's right_ , he thinks with fondness.

"Come on, baby girl," Daryl calls out to her, offering his hand to grab as she looks back to her brother for a second, as if checking, before taking it and coming to him in wobbly legs. "Let yer brother rest, yeah? I got you."

Judith looks up to him, her eyes shining but there was a frown in her tiny face, as if she could tell things weren't alright. Daryl kisses the top of her head, desperate for something to comfort him, for something that is untainted by this world, and the toddler doesn't disappoint as she puts her small hands on his jaw and looks at him with all the seriousness a small child can gather.

"Uncle Dawyl? Ok?" she asks, patting his face with all the care in the world. "Ok?"

"I'm okay, Judy, yeah."

"Da'?"

"He's coming." Daryl kisses her head again, thankful the usually quiet girl is feeling talkative enough to distract him from it all, though her questions hurt him to think of. "Your daddy is coming, Judy. Michonne will bring him to us, you'll see. She wouldn't leave your dad behind. He's gonna be ok too."

She looks back at her brother, then at him again. "Cal? Ok?"

Holding back a hurt sound, he hugs Judith instead of answering and looks at Carl from over her head. The boy is staring at the ground with the same look in his face and it kills Daryl to see it, to see a kid he saw grow up now look so defeated and know what's going to happen. His lips are moving and the hunter has a feeling Carl's talking to his mom.

There's another stab in his heart when he realizes Carl will be seeing her soon.

 _Kid would've grown up to be great, better than all of us. He had a future. He deserved better than this world, but he adapted._

Beth said he'd be the last man standing, but that should've been Carl.

It should've been the kid.

Judith moves in his arms, trying to get his attention and pulling Daryl's head up to look at her again. He'd never allow anything to happen to her, and he knows Rick and Michonne are the same. She's everything, she's _hope._ And they can't afford to lose her, not now and not ever.

"Love you," she mumbles to him, and Daryl's not sure how he keeps his tears in at the words.

"You do, baby?"

The girl nods as if she couldn't think of something more important than convincing him in that moment, maybe because of how weak his voice sounded. Judith's always been a smart one. "I do."

She rests her forehead on his chin for a second, trying to comfort him, to assure him even though she didn't understand what was making him so sad, as he whispers against her blond hair that he loves her too again and again.

"You're gonna be ok, lil' asskicker. We'll make sure of it."

Daryl held her as a newborn, cute as a button and too small for her own good, and now he holds her again; trying his best to let Judith know she's safe, that everything will be alright, as if her brother wasn't dying not far from them.

 _Not you too._

"Ok."


End file.
